


Far From Home

by JadeAvici



Series: When I Count My Blessings [1]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Chronic Pain, Depression, F/F, Modern Era, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Self-Destruction, Sexual Content, Sexual Tension, Veteran Anya, Veteran Lexa, Veteran Lincoln, Veteran Octavia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-02
Updated: 2016-07-29
Packaged: 2018-07-19 17:20:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 11,370
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7370686
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JadeAvici/pseuds/JadeAvici
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It had been two years, Lexa had been home for two years, She would like to say nothing had changed in the last few years. Yet everything had. Lexa was facing the reality that she would never fully recover from her injuries and yet with how hard she tried to accept that reality and move on with her life it she just couldn't. Lexa had been home for two years and yet....she still felt as if she was far from home.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. One

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys! Well If any of you had read my story Someone New that was the first attempt and inspiration for this work. After some fine tuning and editing Far From Home is now the official first work in the series When I Count My Blessings.

Lexa Woods was twenty four and in well not the best shape of her life but pretty damn close. Currently she found herself in the waiting room of the small clinic with blood dripping slowly from her nose and one killer headache, sitting next to her was her sister in law Octavia. Ink black hair still up in a tight bun and still wearing the tight black shirt with _Security_ written in big bold yellow letters in the back and her uniform pants. On her left arm you could make out the tribal tattoo forming a half sleeve from her elbow to shoulder, Lexa remembered when Octavia and her brother Lincoln got married that Octavia demanded for Lexa and Anya to help her with the designs. _“I’m part of the family now, so your ways are mine and you bet your ass I will make this as authentic as I can with or without your help.”_

Lexa chuckled her sister in law was still just as much of a spit fire and pain as the ass now as she was back then, “Gustus must have really hit you hard if you, _Commander_ , are laughing.”

 Octavia’s never strayed from the phone in her hands, “Shut up Blake. You’re just mad you weren’t training today.”

 “No, I’m mad I got a call from Linc saying you were about to just go home after the incident. He called me away from a job because you won’t listen to him. He’s a medic Lexa! A medic.”

 Lexa shrugged and brushed a stray lock of hair from her face, “So? I’m fine. Just a headache.”

 Octavia sighed and put her phone down turning to Lexa, “Lexa, You were knocked on you ass and out for the count for few seconds. Lincoln told me he was about to call the paramedics and yet you brush this off as just a headache? I know you like to show off in training for all the new guys but jesus you’re going to kill yourself that way.”

 Lexa shrugged, “Old habits die hard.”

 “We aren’t out there anymore. We don’t have to push ourselves to that limit anymore.”

 “Don’t tell me you don’t have the same problems as I do with this.”

 They both fell silent for a few minutes before Octavia sighed heavily, “I’m sorry….I have the same problem but I can handle it better….plus I have Lincoln. We help each other…”

 Lexa couldn’t help but feel a small twinge of pain for Octavia. She was right, Lincoln and her helped each other...supported each other. Anya threw herself into work and Lexa… Lexa had just herself. Throwing herself into work never helped like it did for Anya and she had refused to let someone know her for longer than a one-night stand or occasional late night call. Not after _her,_ not after _Costia_ , Lexa just couldn’t bring herself to try and fill the hole she had left. The two passed the rest of the time in silence and as the shock wore off the pain from her headache grew worse with each passing moment. Or was it the pain from her nose? The two were blending together at this point, closing her eyes and rubbing her temples she tried to alleviate the pain.

 “Lexa you doing okay over there?”

 Octavia’s voice was full of concern but all she could manage was a half hearted nod, her companion saw through the gesture in a heartbeat, “Always gotta act like a tough ass? You can drop the act, I’ll see if I can get you in faster, hang on there _Commander_.”

 Lexa couldn’t gage how long Blake was gone but when she returned she heard more than one pair of footsteps, “Ms. Woods, Why didn’t you go come in through the side door? I would have seen you immediately.”

 She opened an eye and smirked, “Well Dr. Griffin I didn’t want to be an inconvenience. I know your a busy woman and whats with the formalities Abby? After four years we still have to be proper?”

Doctor Abby Griffin was in her late forties but you couldn’t tell by looking at her, she aged gracefully throughout the years still looking like she had only just turned thirty. Dirty blonde hair down around her shoulders, white lab coat open revealing a casual red blouse and a pair of black slacks. A soft smile accompanied the light glow in her dark brown eyes, Lexa always made fun of her for it, “Don’t give me the mom look Abby, I’m fine. Just a small bump on the head.”

 Abby scoffed, “Well from what Octavia was kind enough to tell me your idea of a small bump and mine differ greatly Lexa. Now can you walk or do you need help? I’m going to take you to an exam room.”

 “I can walk.”

 “Always a hard ass.” Octavia was standing behind her just in case she wavered,

 “Shut up Octavia.”

 Lexa knew even with all the shit Octavia was giving her she deep down was concerned, Lexa could see it in her eyes. Lexa always felt a little guilty when she would drag Octavia with her to the ER or the Clinic because she would go too far trying to take a trespasser down or pulling wild kids of stages or even just training. Sure she knew the behavior was self-destructive but this was how she coped. Like Octavia had pointed out earlier; Anya had work, Lincoln and her had each other, and Lexa…..Lexa had just Lexa.

 Just outside the exam door Octavia’s phone rang, “Blake here….Yes…No, Lincoln you don’t have to. What if She can’t? Yes I know it's date night but….No you’re right. All right. I love you too.”

 Octavia slipped the phone back into her back pocket, “Octavia it’s fine. Go be with your husband. I’m fine. If anything I’m pretty sure Abby will give me a ride back home. It’s happened before remember?”

 Octavia looked down at her boots, “I know I just feel bad slightly.”

 “Don’t. I know he’s probably already in the parking lot waiting for you.”

 “Text me or Call me when you make it home...please?”

 “Will do, now go before he calls you again.”

 Abby stood at the door holding it open, “Lexa you ready?”

 “Sure thing Doc.”

 Walking in and taking a seat on the exam table Lexa sighed closing her eyes waiting for the pain to subside but it never did, “Okay open your eyes and follow the light.”

 A few tests later and Lexa sat on a chair talking with Dr. Griffin, “Well it’s not a concussion but still be cautious and your nose is set straight again but if the swelling doesn’t go down or grows worse in a week come back. I’ll write you something for the pain but go easy on it. You might not to work for a bit just to med.”

 The doctor scribbled out a few notes in Lexa’s file and onto a small notepad which she could only assume was her prescription, “How are the old injuries?”

 “Giving me hell. Scars are fading a bit, but they still hurt like hell.”

 “Lexa I’m not going to lie to you...They probably won’t ever truly heal. You might just have to accept that the pain and the limitations will probably be permanent. Ease up at work, don’t push yourself to the point where you’ll make it all worse.”

 “Are you saying this as my doctor?”

 “Yes, but also because I consider myself family with you, Octavia, Lincoln and even Anya. I’ve known all of you for five years and even more so in the last two when you all came home. I see Jake in all of you…..that same passion. Lexa….just please. Promise me you will consider what I have told you.”

 Lexa stood and put a hand on Abby’s shoulder, “I promise I will consider it. Now Doc...don’t you have other misfits to take care of?”

 Abby stood and tried to subtly wipe away a tear, “You’re right I do. I don’t recommend driving and going home by yourself. I know Lincoln and Octavia are probably no where local… Is Anya available to take you home?”

 “No, she’s still working….”

 “Well….I know someone who has a free night and will be able to monitor you.” Abby smiled and Lexa could see some type of plan forming in the older woman's head.

 “I don’t know if I like this tone Doc.”

 “My Daughter Clarke, you remember her right? She’s an intern here now to get hours for school. I know for a fact she isn’t doing anything even though it's a Friday night. She’ll be able to take you home.”

 Lexa felt her body tense, the docs daughter? It had been a few years since she had seen her. The last time Lexa had seen Clarke the blonde had just graduated high school and was spending a her time in the clinic during the summer before College. Lexa had just got home for a few weeks and Costia was concerned about a sprain Lexa had gotten in the field a week before the two flew home. That was her first time meeting Dr. Griffin and Clarke. Lexa wondered if Clarke remembered her...granted that was almost five years ago and Lexa was only nineteen and didn’t look anything like she did now.


	2. Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the support and Kudos! Also at the beginning of each chapter I'll be making a little note of the songs used in the story. That way you guys get to see playlist based off this work.

Clarke Griffin came around the corner scowling it was obvious she wasn’t entirely happy with the news her mother brought her. Lexa shifted her weight awkwardly while trying to piece together the least awkward  _ “Hey remember me? I was here when you were eighteen with my fiance. Me and her were in town visiting? It was almost five years ago…”  _

Yet when Clarke was right in front of her blonde hair falling in loose curls down around her shoulders, blue-grey eyes full of fire. The younger girl wore a simple blue v-neck t-shirt and dark blue jeans with a pair of beat up chucks, a strap of a backpack on one shoulder, “So my mother assumed I didn’t have plans and I’m here to monitor you tonight.”

Lexa awkwardly stuck out her hand, “Lexa Woods….Nice to officially meet you Ms. Griffin.”

Clark stood there for a moment staring at Lexa’s hand she took it after the tension grew and shook briefly, “Lexa….that name is familiar…. I think I’ve met you once before but that was years ago wasn’t it?”

Lexa smiled and rubbed the back of her neck eyes glancing down at her feet briefly,  _ Jesus what was she doing. Acting like a teenager talking to a crush, get a hold of yourself Lexa. _ “Yeah, it was close to five years ago. My fiance and I had stopped in here on our leave because a sprain in my ankle hadn’t healed yet.”

Clarke smiled and nodded, “Right! You were a lot younger then, even in your eyes… Your Fiance...She was the brunette right that seemed so worried over you?”

Lexa felt her a small pain, a subtle stab in the heart, as she heard Clarke talk about Costia, “Yes. That was her. Anyway…...You don’t have to drive me home or stay. I told your mother I was fine.”

Clarke shrugged slipping the other strap of her bag onto her shoulder, “It’s fine, after seeing your not just some random stranger I think I don’t mind as much. Plus my roommate texted me a bit ago saying she needed the apartment.”

Lexa felt her heart start to race, “Oh...Alright, I have to warn you mine might come home sometime. Octavia and Lincoln are out on the town now but they shouldn’t be gone too long.”

The two began to walk slowly toward the exit, “Wait..Octavia? You don’t mean Octavia Blake do you?”

“That’s the one.”

“I know her brother Bellamy and her when we were all a lot younger. My Mom would watch them sometimes while their mother was at work. Wow, I haven’t seen her since I was Bellamy’s date to their wedding.”

Lexa turned her head to look at the blonde, “You were at the wedding? How come I didn’t see you?”

Clarke laughed, “Some one had to make sure Bellamy didn’t get too plastered and start threatening her husband. You were maid of honor weren’t you?”

Lexa blushed at the memories of the wedding day, not all were of the wedding though. Costia in the simple dark blue dress on her knees hours before, Lexa stripping out of her tux that night. Clearing her throat she nodded, “uh..yeah. I was.”

Crossing the parking lot Lexa unlocked her slate grey dodge dart, and held out the key in the flat of her palm, “Do you trust me to drive or do you want to?”

Clarke was already in the passenger seat, “Never mind.”

As she opened the driver door she caught a glimpse of her reflection. Green eyes piercing, blood down the front of her Grey and Black gym shirt from work the sleeves rolled up and in making it look like a makeshift tank top. Mount Weather Security written in black on the front, black gym shorts stopping just above her knees showing off her calves. Her hair still in its signature braid down her back resting in between her shoulder blades. The reflection was smiling and Lexa could have sworn she wasn’t looking at herself.

“Do you need me to drive?”

Lexa blinked a few times and went back to getting inside the car, “I can drive Princess.”

The name had slipped out before she could catch it, “Princess?”

“Sorry...I’ve heard Bellamy say it once or twice on the phone with Octavia.”

Clarke laughed, “Damn him. Well I like the way you say it better.”

As they pulled out of the parking lot Lexa found herself wishing to hear Clarke laugh again. Lexa didn’t even realize the radio had been playing softly in the background as they drove toward her apartment, her mind was thinking back over the years to how many times she might have actually met Clarke without realizing it. Stealing quick glances she noticed the younger girl was to focused on her phone with a light pink tint to her cheeks then on the music or even Lexa.

When the apartment came into view Clarke fidgeted in her seat slightly, “Oh wow you guys live across from the Village?”

“Yeah, after work we normally walk around and go to the bars. Saves us money on Taxi’s and stuff.”

“That has to be nice. Me and Raven have to spend at least twenty a night on just cabs.”

“Only twenty? That’s like a cab to the bar and back. Are you telling me you are a lightweight Ms. Griffin?”

Clarke looked out the window that pink hue growing darker...but only slightly, “I am not. I’m just a year behind you in tolerance. I’ve been legal for only two almost three years.”

Lexa couldn’t help bursting out in laughter as they walked up the fight of stairs to the second floor of the apartment buildings. “You only started drinking at twenty-one? Clarke you were one of those girls weren’t you? The one who never had sex or went to parties?”

Clarke was in front of her in a flash hand on her chest, the two stopped walking, “For your information. I have had sex before but that’s hardly any of your business and as for drinking I decided against it because I had better things to do that waste my education drinking.”

From this position Lexa became aware that she was at least a head taller than Clarke by the way she had to look down at the almost pouting girl. “Whatever you say Princess, but I won’t believe you unless we all go out drinking one day. Now can we keep walking? My apartment is literally the next door.”

She pointed to the door marked **206** , Clarke let her hand drop, “Fine and you’re on, one day I’ll show you just how much I can drink.”

As she put the key in the lock her heart fluttered,  _ maybe she actually will follow up on that. Maybe this won’t be the last time She sees this blonde little spit-fire. _


	3. Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The song in the bold Italics is "The Sweets" by the Yeah Yeah Yeah's.
> 
> Also the incident in this scene is based off of something that has happened to me, same thing with the scar and injury to Lexa's hip. It's based off of an injury and experiences I deal with sometimes.

Lexa wasn’t paying attention as she opened the door for the two of them, her focus was on the dull throb that was making its way back in as the center of her attention. “Make yourself at home...I’m going to wash this blood off.”

Clarke said nothing, or maybe she did Lexa couldn’t hear her. The pain from today wasn’t the dull throb that worried her, no it was the dull throb of pain in her right hip that traveled all the way down to her knee. With each step it grew worse, trying not to let the doctor in training see her limp or that she was in more pain than before Lexa almost ran to the bathroom.

As the water heated up and she stripped down fingers gently undoing her braid, steam rising up to the ceiling in thick tendrils, with her other hand she hooked up her phone and clicked the first song to appear. 

**_Green Shadow, water weight all over, all over me_ **

Lexa stepped into the shower letting the water cascade down washing away the dried blood, the dirt, and the ache she was begging to feel.

**_The end will shelter me away from me_ **

**_Can we meet again, meet and meet, and meet, and meet again?_ **

Hands on the tiles in front of her as she just stood there letting the water wash over her, her mind still wandering.

**_Can ya fill the can if ya can’t fill me?_ **

Talking to Clarke no matter how brief it was about Costia had started to tear down the walls she spent two years trying to build. Costia’s laugh rang in her ears, that crooked smile haunting her. The countless ‘ _ I love you’s’ _ whispered into her skin.

**_Who ya following? Who ya starting to move like?_ **

**_Who ya falling for? Who ya falling for? Whose Lies?_ **

Even standing under the spray of the water Lexa knew she had begun to cry, she couldn’t stop it. The pain from her leg not helping the situation either, “Fuckin hell…” She said aloud to herself as she backed out from the spray just long enough to wipe the tears from her eyes. Reaching for the bottle of shampoo.

**_Who ya following, who ya falling for?_ **

**_This sounds on your side._ **

Leaning her head back to wash the soap out she tried to block out the memories and focus on nothing. Even though part of her knew Clarke was walking around her apartment learning more about how she lived and possibly looking at all the pictures hung on the walls. She tricked herself into believing she was home alone.

**_Secret_ ** **_blue, purple, pink and green right over it_ **

**_Oh, hold on ‘cause the coldest hasn’t fought yet_ **

**_Well, if we meet again, meet and meet, and meet, and meet again_ **

**_Can ya catch the can if you can’t fill it?_ **

Lexa had finished cleaning herself a while ago but for some reason couldn’t bring herself to turn off the water and leave the shower. It was almost peaceful just standing there under the luke warm spray acting as if she was the only person in the world. It was a beautiful lie that she needed to believe in at the moment.

**_How will you want something to hit_ **

**_With spinning again and again, and again?_ **

Slowly she turned of the water and opened the shower curtain, yet refused to take the first step out. Hair clung to her back and water dripped from her fingertips and off the tip of her nose, she knew that under her eyes were still puffy and probably a little red still but she could blame that on the swelling around her nose.

**_What’s your crime? What’s your crime?_ **

**_Well, how will you want? How will she sit?_ **

**_What’s spinning again and again, and again_ **

**_What’s your crime?_ **

Wrapping the light blue towel around her Lexa tentatively took the first step out of the shower, left foot touching the wood floor first. Gently placing a hand on the back of her thigh just above her knee to help swing her right leg over the small lip of the tub she was just standing in. She uttered a curse or two towards her leg and about how it had lost its mobility due to her injuries. Not paying attention at the puddle of water forming underneath her she let her leg go and her foot touched the ground naturally.

**_What’s your, what’s your, what’s your, what’s your_ **

**_What’s your crime, crime, crime?_ **

**_What’s your, what’s your, what’s your, what’s your_ **

**_What’s your crime?_ **

The song had ended and she turned the music off wanting to be left in silence for a few moments before putting on a fake smile and being friendly toward the blonde in her living room. Taking the first step to walk out of the bathroom and to her room directly across the hall Lexa could feel her impaired leg lock up slightly causing her to start to slip. Hands bracing herself for the fall or to grab on to something….anything. Her towel dropped and her body slammed into the counter as she caught herself. The noise breaking the silence and from somewhere in the apartment she heard, “Lexa? Are you okay?”

There was concern in the other woman's voice and Lexa uttered a silent prayer that Clarke wouldn’t try to come investigate. Obviously her silence didn’t encourage Clarke to stay away. She could hear footsteps right out the door, “Lexa are you okay?”

“I’m fine…. _ fuck. _ ”

The  _ fuck _ she thought she had said in her mind but it had managed to slip out along with a short hiss of pain. Damn her leg for deciding now was the best time to lock up and pretty much give out underneath her. The door creaked open and in the reflection Lexa could she herself, stark naked leaning against the bathroom counter and Clarke’s bright blue-grey eyes staring at her from the door frame. The utter shock and surprise from the blonde’s face soon faded and was replaced with a look Lexa was all too familiar with when visiting Abby. The young almost Doctor was in a medical mode. Her eyes instantly locking on to the large scar and indent in Lexa’s right hip.

“Stop staring Princess and get me a damn towel.”


	4. Four

Lexa couldn’t recall how exactly she got a towel wrapped around her because Clarke sure as hell was no help. The blonde stood there looking down at her feet a blush obviously spread across her face and her quietly asking if Lexa was okay and that she was sorry for just barging in. 

So there Lexa stood in her room between her bed and dresser trying to recall how she got a towel and what she was going to say to the dumbstruck blonde she had left in the bathroom. Letting the towel fall by her own will Lexa took a step forward toward the dresser opening the drawers to grab a change of clean yet comfy clothing to wear around the house. Dressing slowly trying not to aggravate her problematic leg any further her mind began to wander, it seemed as if her mind was doing that a lot lately. Lexa’s mind went to how Clarke looked at her, those blue-grey eyes full of more than just concern. It had been a long time since anyone looked at her the way Clarke did, that last person to have that small gleam of not lust but something lighter in their eyes was Costia.  _ God, Costia….. _ Lexa could see the woman she had once loved standing in the room with her. It was the day they had first moved into the apartment together, the only pieces of furniture they had in the entire apartment was the bed and the dresser.

_ “Marry Me…” _

The words were whispered into Costia’s skin as Lexa kissed her way down from collarbones to just above her underwear. Lexa could still taste the odd sweetness and slight tang of sweat that she could only describe as Costia on her lips.  _ “Marry Me….” _

_ “Yes…” _

That one word made the night that much more memorable. They didn’t fuck,no, that night they made love until the first pink hues of sunrise shone through the house and the two were drunk off of each other, passing out in legs tangled together and Costia’s head resting on Lexa’s chest.

A knock on the door brought her back to reality, “Lexa? You okay I heard crying…..”

Clarke’s voice broke the silence in the room, Lexa was sitting on the floor her back pressed against the bed knees brought up to her chest. She wiped the tears of her face and away from her eyes, “yes.”

Lexa still hadn’t moved to stand up and she could hear Clarke’s footsteps on the carpet, she could feel Clarke sitting next to her. The blonde wasn’t close enough to be touching her but the closeness was….comforting to say the least. “Lexa are you hurt?”

“No.”

“Is it your leg?”

“....No.”

“Lexa, you know I am a doctor….well almost one. I’d rather not take you back to my mother.”

“I’m fine Princess.”

Clarke huffed, pushing a few wild blonde strands of hair from her face, “Do you want me to leave?”

Lexa could have sworn she felt her mouth open and the words  _ Yes  _ were said but her ears heard a different response, “No….Stay Please.”

Clarke didn’t say anything just nodded her head before relaxing her back flush with the mattress as they sat there.

“I won’t tell anyone.”

That caught Lexa off guard, Clarke’s voice no louder than a whisper. Lexa only officially met her an hour or so earlier in the day and already this woman had already shown an understanding and concern for Lexa.

“Thank you. I appreciate that...do you mind going to the living room and putting on a movie? I’ll be out shortly.”

Just like that Clarke was gone the warmth of her body was starting to fade and the room grew cold once more. By the time the brunette collected herself and made her way out to the living room Clarke was already lounging on the couch taking up all four cushions and she had somehow changed into a pair of grey sweat pants and a muscle tank. The black tank had white writing that read, “Run like Alex Vause is at the finish line”

The sound of a raptor was coming from the TV along with the tired voice of Dr. Grant, “Really? Jurassic Park?” The blonde shrugged and motioned for Lexa to join her on the couch.

“How am I supposed to join you if you are taking up the entire couch?”

Clarke smirked, “Well I guess we’ll have to share.”

It was Lexa’s turn to blush and she didn’t even know why. She shouldn’t be feeling like this around the younger woman. Clarke was her doctor’s daughter, the same doctor who thought of Lexa as a daughter. Not to mention they only really met today there was no way she shouldn’t feel this way about Clarke.

“Lexa just get over here. You look like you need like closeness...like just being near someone.”

Tentatively walking over and laying down on the couch, her back flush with Clarke’s front. Clarke adjusted her position slightly, Clarke rested her elbow on the arm of the couch while Lexa was using just the cushion. Lexa felt more at peace, relaxed just as she did when Clarke sat next to her.

“Clarke.”

“Yes?”

“Thank you…”

The brunette moved a bit closer to the blonde who as if they had done this before automatically draped an arm around her, a hand slowly tracing patterns onto Lexa’s arm and side.

“You’re welcome.”

Lexa felt a smile on her face as the two fell silent and watched the movie. It was about halfway through when Lexa had realized she couldn’t feel the random shapes Clarke had been drawing on her arm. Looking over her shoulder slightly she saw Clarke asleep head on the pillow they had grabbed a few minutes before, arm stuck between her and Lexa after it had fallen, and such a peaceful look upon her face. Lexa didn’t have the heart to wake her, that and the fact her own eyes were growing heavier.

No longer trying to fight it Lexa let her eyes close and her body move even closer to Clarke. She didn’t care about the crap she may get from Anya if Anya came home later that night. Nor did she care about how she should feel and how she did feel. Lexa cared only about the peace, comfort, and familiarity she found in Clarke, how her heart that was once so far away and out of touch seemed just a tad closer. Not by much but just enough to give Lexa hope. 


	5. Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The song in the Club is: "Strip Fur Mich" By Sido ft. Kitty Kat  
> translation: "Come on baby strip for me, put up a strip for me,"

It had been a week or so since Lexa woke up on her couch wrapped up in Clarke Griffin’s arms, she hadn’t seen the blonde since then nor did she plan on it. What had happened that day wasn’t going to happen again, it was too risky no matter how good it felt to be so relaxed around someone that wasn’t in her family. 

Octavia was sitting on the couch with Lincoln and Anya talking about a recent job detail they had all been on with some new hires. They discussed different tactics and the strengths each new hire had and Anya even though she was invested in the conversation kept her watchful eyes trained on Lexa. As she paced back and forth through the house touching and moving everything, fidgeting, and then back to pacing.

“Lexa for fuck’s sake please sit down. You’ve been like this since you got off of work. What is eating you?”

Anya was hoping her younger sister would answer but instead Octavia did, “She wants a certain blonde to call her but wait… neither of them got each others numbers.” Her response ended in laughter while Lexa threw up her arms in defense,

“I am not waiting for her to call. I’m just cooped up, You guys have been giving me easy missions and not letting me go workout. I get it the doc said I need to ease up but it's killing me. Can we please go out tonight or let me workout...just something.”

Anya shook her head as Lincoln and Octavia threw glances at each other, “Anya she has a point even I’m a little antsy plus a little bird told me where the young doctor will be tonight.”

Lexa perked up and in two long strides had crossed the hall and stood next to the TV waiting for Octavia to explain more. Anya stood, “Well if you three are going out I’m going out, to visit someone. Partying is a young man’s game and I am not that young.”

Octavia pulled out her phone scrolling through text messages, “here it is. Raven, you know Bellamy’s mechanic friend that became my friend. Anyway, she and I were talking about things that don’t need to explained and Raven told me Clarke and them were all going to at the Ark tonight.”

“The Ark?”

Lincoln had left without a word probably to go get ready while the girls ‘gossiped’, “Yeah The Ark. That new club inside the Village. They had the grand opening a week or two ago and you and me both worked it.”

“Is that the one where the kid Murphy tried to fight the mayor’s son?”

“That’s the one.”

Lexa caught her reflection in the dark TV screen, her smirk and the fierceness in her eyes made her look like a hunter getting ready for the hunt. If Clarke was going to be there Lexa wasn’t going to pursue anything actively but if she found herself in a situation like that then maybe it was meant to happen.

The trio stood outside the club looking up at the steel outside and dark red neon letters. Lincoln was wearing dark jeans and a simple black t-shirt his tattoo stood out even more since more was revealed not to mention since Octavia was on his arm her own tattoo visible. Octavia was wearing an almost skin tight black dress with a triangle of fabric cut from the back the point ending just in the small of her back the very tips of a few tendrils of her tattoo on her left shoulder blade that wasn’t covered by the dress. Octavia’s hair done in loose girls and a pair of brand new black heels, the couple looked almost like models. Well toned, almost statuesque Lexa almost envied them.  _ Almost _ .

Lexa herself was wearing black slacks and dress shoes that looked as if this was the first time out of the box, deep blue button up with only the top three buttons undone. Just the right amount of cleavage being revealed but only slightly along with the sleeves tightly rolled just above the elbow. Hair tamed and worked professionally into an elegant braid that looked as if three different braid styles were made into this one. In a passing glance no one would be able to see her tattoo but every so often her sleeves would ride up just so showing a faint glimpse before falling back down.

As the trio entered heads would turn and follow them and by the time they got towards the bar it seemed if everyone was staring at them. If it was out of jealousy, envy, or want they wouldn’t know nor did they care.   

Three songs and about seven shots of Patron Silver Lexa could honestly say she was on her way to being more than just tipsy. A glimpse of blonde on the dance floor caught her eye even as the lights were constantly changing color. The song became a bit slower, the bass definitely present and a woman moaning filled the club.

Lexa recognized the music even though it was in another language, she was making her way toward the blonde flashes. It wasn’t until she reached Clarke and another girl in a leg brace dancing together. Well more like Clarke dancing and the girl getting danced on. Jealous began to fill the older woman, Clarke was hers, was going to be hers. The girl the blonde was dancing on saw Lexa approach and backed away as best she could.

The brunettes hands moved out to just barely touch the blondes hips as she swayed. Leaning in close she sang the words of the song.

**_“Komm Baby strip fur mich, zieh dich aus strip fur mich”_ **

Clarke spun around and put her hands behind Lexa’s next, “Lexa...I didn’t know you spoke German.”

There was a slight drawl to the younger woman's words and Lexa knew that when she spoke it was either going to be just the same or ten times cockier than normal. The tequila always made her a bit more cocky than normal.

“I do, need a translator?”

“Only if you plan on impressing me.”

Lexa smiled and listened to the music trying to find which part of the lyrics the man was singing, “He’s saying ‘I look, I greed, I tell her daddy is here, she dances with the ass on my lap, she massaged the hammer in my pants.”

Lexa’s grip became just a fraction tighter as she pulled them closer together, Clarke even with the strong smell of alcohol and the club managed to smell like Vanilla and Lavender.

“Impressive enough for you?”

“Very…You have a skilled tongue.”

“You haven’t seen how skilled yet.”


	6. Six

“You haven’t seen how skilled yet.” 

That simple sentence made them end up in the position they were in, the young doctor issued a simple challenge right after, “Prove it.”

It wasn’t until Lexa felt herself being led away to the stairs heading toward the roof top section of the club that she started to believe Clarke was serious. As the two stepped onto the roof the moon and lights of the city drew really drew Lexa’s eyes to Clarke.

A deep blue that almost matched the exact shade of Lexa’s shirt, short and accentuating curves. Blonde hair up into a ponytail yet it didn’t hinder her look. Even with the kitten heels she was still shorter than Lexa. “You look beautiful…”

Clarke laughed, “you can speak German and Flattery. What else?”

“Some Spanish among other things..”

Before Lexa blinked Clarke was at least a few feet away from her looking around the roof for other people after she blinked, Clarke was right in front of her lips just a fraction of an inch away from Lexa’s. The smell of Lavender and Vanilla more intoxicating that the alcohol Lexa had consumed, “Well...are you going to prove yourself of no?”

While staring into those blue-grey eyes Lexa lost herself, the very little shred of self control she had mixed with the Patron had finally won. Lips crashed together and Lexa swore Clarke melted. The blonde’s knees giving slightly as teeth clashed together and tongues explored. Lexa took the woman’s bottom lip into her mouth sucking slightly before pulling with her teeth. The moan that reached her ears might have just then became her favorite sound in the world. Lexa had spun the two around and began to the little walled area that lead to the door into the building. When Clarke’s back hit the wall the two pulled away breathing heavily, “Holy….Shit…”

Lexa cocked a brow, “That’s all you have to say about that?”

Clarke nodded as she leaned in for another kiss but Lexa’s hand on her collarbone stopped her, “No.”

Before the blonde had a second to question the action Lexa was lowering herself down onto her knees, hands traveling up from her knees and underneath the soft blue material of the dress. Lexa kissed a trail while her hands grasped the thin material of Clarke’s underwear. “Never pegged you for a girl who wore thongs.”

“Laundry day.”

“Of course it was.”

Lexa pulled the thong down just low enough before continuing kissing the newly exposed skin. Soft moans spilled through Clarke’s lips as she tried to stay quiet, a hand reaching down and pulling lightly on Lexa’s braid.

“Stop teasing.”

“Make me.”

“Fuck Me and I will.”

“Are you sure.”

Lexa knew it didn’t really sound like a question but still she wanted to hear Clarke say yes. She wanted them to both be sure, to both be ready to open this can of worms. Because Lexa knew that if the blonde, who was leaning against the wall eyes half closed and lip brought just ever so slightly up to her teeth, said yes that Lexa would not be able to go back. They would never go back to the awkward friendly stage.

“....Yes.”

It was whispered and full of so many underlying tones but it was a Yes and that’s all Lexa needed. Smirking into the soft skin of Clarke’s legs Lexa slowly began teasing her way up. A kiss here, a bite there, Clarke pulling her hair with more and more want each little inch she moved. Lexa was giving herself a mental pat on the back from keeping up the teasing for as long as she had. For underneath her calm and collected exterior inside she was dying to touch Clarke, to taste Clarke, to feel Clarke cum around her fingers or unto her tongue. Lexa needed something...anything. Placing a final kiss just above Clarke’s clit, hearing the sharp gasp from above her. Lexa gave in to both her and Clarke’s need.

Mouth descending lower, tongue reaching out in fast broad strokes. There was nothing graceful or slow about it. Lexa scraped her teeth lightly against Clarke’s clit before pushing her tongue inside. Head bobbing slightly or as much as it could with Clarke holding her head fast in place.

Lexa wished she hadn’t drank as much as she had, it was making it hard for her to focus and commit this moment to memory. Everything seemed to be going by way too fast, it was as if the moment her tongue entered Clarke that the blonde was coming undone. The brunette found herself being pulled up by the collar of her shirt and her back hit the wall the blonde once occupied.

Clarke’s mouth was on her neck sucking at her pulse point as the girl’s hands undid her belt. “God damn it Lexa… You make it so hard to focus.”

Clarke was kissing at whatever skin was visible everywhere but Lexa’s lips, as her hands snuck under her shirt feeling the muscle definition in her abs, drifting down just to the band of the briefs she wore. 

“Says you. Clarke stop teasing.”

Clarke placed a heated kiss on Lexa’s lips as her hands finally slipped under the waistband of Lexa’s briefs and straight down toward her almost embarrassingly wet pussy. As two fingers slid in with ease she felt her face grow hot as she blushed.

The embarrassment was soon washed away with the pleasure, with the intense building of heat in her lower abdomen. Clarke was working at a furious pace, maybe the young doctor realized how long they might have actually been away from their friends on the rooftop. Or was it possible that maybe she too had lost her self control. “Clarke, don’t stop….fuck..”

Clarke was rubbing herself against Lexa’s leg as she fucked the brunette, gaining some sense of her surroundings Lexa slipped a hand back under the girl’s dress trying to provide relief for her. As the girls fucked each other, their moans encouraging the other, neither noticed the rooftop door slowly open.

“Hey Lexa, you up here? Me and Lincoln are heading...Holy shit!”

Lexa no longer felt Clarke, the girl was fixing her dress completely red in the face. Lexa buttoned her pants back up glaring at Octavia. “Octavia...I’ll be down shortly….But you can go home.”


	7. Seven

“Uh yeah...sure thing. See you at home Lexa.”

Octavia all but ran to the door and disappeared back into the club. Lexa sighed, fixing her shirt, she was about to turn around and apologize when she heard the blonde laugh. 

“Clarke? Are you okay?” 

“Oh my god….Lexa. That was probably the most embarrassing thing I have ever been apart of….I felt like a teenager getting caught by their parent.”

Lexa felt herself start to laugh, “Clarke out of all the things to say. You go with that….you are something...something else.” 

Clarke was suddenly right next to Lexa arm wrapped around her waist and chin resting on her shoulder, those blue eyes gazing up at the taller girl, “Lexa. I still want to finish what we started. But will your roommates mind if we go back to your apartment? It is the closest after all.” 

Lexa placed a quick kiss on Clarke’s forehead before leading them both to the exit, “They are a married couple. I have had to deal with things I never wanted to know about my brother. They can deal with us.” 

The two girls left the club laughing, smiling, and sharing a few kisses along the way as they made the walk back to Lexa’s apartment. Lexa vaguely remembered waving goodbye to Octavia as they exited the door, the ink hair girl laughing and whispering to Lincoln. 

Sharp pain woke Lexa the next morning, legs felt as if they were on fire, trying to sit up and make it to the bathroom for her medication she found herself trapped. An arm holding her down and pulling her closer every time she tried to break away, “Clarke you need to let me up.” 

“No….It’s only four a.m. go back to bed.” 

“Clarke. I need to get up.” 

Lexa was trying to keep her voice even, trying to not alert the other girl to the slight urgency and desperation she was feeling. When the arm moved Lexa felt a slight relief, her lover was to tired to pick up on anything. Stumbling to the bathroom leg stiff and the fact that she couldn’t place any real wait on it wasn’t helping. Lexa had reached the point where she didn’t need to turn the bathroom light on, she had gone through situations like this more times than she could count. Reaching up to the medicine cabinet and grabbing the second bottle on the bottom shelf,  _ Muscle Memory, _ she told herself as she opened the container. Placing two pills on the tip of her tongue she turned on the tap to get a few sips of water. 

“Lexa…?” 

The voice was quiet, Clarke was probably more awake and trying to find out where she had gone. Sighing Lexa placed the bottle back in the medicine cabinet and slowly made her way back. Still unsure if her leg could take more weight than earlier. Clarke was partially sitting up, leaning on her elbows hair disheveled, “Lexa?” 

“Sorry...was thirsty went to get something to drink.” Lexa shook a half filled water bottle she found on the floor of her room. Laying back down she laid on her left side arms open welcoming Clarke. The blonde relaxed and found herself wrapped in the brunettes arms, “I thought you had left…” 

“Why would I leave you...in my own house?” 

“It’s happened before.”

Lexa sighed kissing the top of Clarke’s head and squeezing her reassuringly, “I’ll never leave, unless you don’t around.”

She could feel Clarke smiling into the exposed skin of her chest, “I want you around.” was the last thing she heard before falling back to sleep, Clarke in her arms and Lexa could have sworn that all this was a dream.

For Lexa morning came with a vengeance, reminding her that last night most certainly wasn’t a dream. As she opened her eyes the room instantly started spinning and her stomach felt like it had dropped and down three flips. Practically running to the bathroom she made it just in time to slam the lid of the toilet open before losing nothing but stomach acid and the drinks she had last night. Resting her head on the seat watching the water and its contents swirl down and disappear she tried to stop the world from spinning but that feat was just as hard as keeping her eyes open. 

“Lexa…?”

_ Fuck, Clarke. _

How could she forget Clarke was still here. Maybe she could blame this on being hungover, but Octavia would rat her out. It was a side effect from her medication. Everytime she took it, the next morning she spent sick and weak. “I’m in here Clarke.”  She could hear Clarke walk closer to the bathroom as another wave of nausea hit her.  _ At least I’m not in pain…. _ “Clarke you might not want to go in there.” 

When Lexa looked up Octavia was standing between the doorway of the bathroom and Clarke. The blonde looked worried and yet every time she glanced toward Octavia those blue eyes were filled with something fierce and protective. 

“I think you forget I’m almost a doctor. I can help.” 

“Not with this…” 

“Octavia...it’s fine….just go back to bed...I’m fine.” 

Lexa felt a soft hand rubbing circles on her back, “Lexa….you sick or hungover?” 

Lexa laughed, “Neither, leg woke me up last night. Took my painkillers, nasty side effect of them. Makes me useless for the day.” 

She wiped her chin and sat up back against the tub, legs lazily crossed as she watched Clarke trying to gauge a reaction, “you probably think this is real pathetic and disgusting.” 

The blonde shook her head, “No, you asking for a kiss right now would be disgusting. I don’t work tonight or have classes...So I’ll stay and help out.” 

“You don’t have to Octa…”

“Octavia and Lincoln are both working, I also heard them saying that Anya is out of town for the week. Some out of town job. You’re stuck with me...If you want me around.” 

“I want you around.”

“Good, now try to brush your teeth and go lay down. I’ll get you some juice.” 


	8. Eight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Author's note: Only two more chapters to go! But don't worry that won't truly be the end. Keep a Look out for the second Work in the Series. Title to be announced soon. 
> 
> Also, this chapter is mainly Dialogue and Flashbacks. Just a heads up when it switches to flashback it will be in italics.

Lexa had gotten use to having Clarke around the house, it had been a few weeks...no almost a month since the night at the club and the morning after. Seeing the enthusiastic young doctor to be after her hard days of work would take the weight off her shoulders. All the stress would disappear and Lexa would feel at peace. It was as if the old Lexa had come home; she laughed more, smiled, yes she still pushed herself at work and at the gym but it was as if she couldn’t feel the pain when she was with Clarke. 

And for the first time in that month the two had the entire apartment to themselves. Tonight was also the night Lexa was going to try and make it official. She was going to ask Clarke to be her girlfriend, she was going to tell her about Costia, everything. Tonight was the night. 

When Clarke walked in from work Lexa was relaxing across the couch watching American dad Ice pack on her hip and an Ace wrap on her right knee. 

“Jesus Lexa what did you do?” 

“Oh shit hi, Clarke. Uhm. Would you believe me if I told you I fell out of a tree rescuing a young girl's kitten?” 

“I would if you didn’t leave your gym bag by the front door. Didn’t my mother, who is your doctor may I remind you, to take it easy?” 

“I did, I just ran a bit more than usual instead of weights. But it was a casual run, nothing to fast paced or on inclines.” Clarke sat on the couch cushion by Lexa’s abdomen, she adjusted a piece of the Ace Wrap that had started to come undone slightly, tucking it back in. Her blues eyes then turned toward Lexa, “Can you even stand up long enough to make dinner or should I order a pizza for date night?” 

“Hmm…..pizza and cheap beer sounds like a good plan.” 

“Pizza, no beer and I’ll let you keep watching this American Dad shit instead of some romantic girly-girl movie even though you secretly love them.”  

Lexa sat up her eyes following Clarke as the girl fell into the normal routine of when she came home, “Deal. Pepperoni. Oh, can you get some wings?” Clarke nodded, taking her shoes off and placing them in Lexa’s room along with her bag and coat. Then she would go to the bathroom, take a quick shower coming back out in a pair of basketball shorts and one of Lexa’s old security shirts she made into muscle tanks for working out or wearing at home. 

“Pizza’s on the way. What did you mean earlier today when I was at work?” 

“What?” 

“You sent me a message that said, ‘remind me to tell you.’?” 

Lexa pushed a few stray strands of hair from her face, “Right...yeah. That was for you to tell me. So I don’t really have an excuse not to.” 

“Tell me what Lexa?” 

“About Costia, my ex. And what happened.” 

Clarke took a seat on the couch turning the tv volume down, “Oh thank god….I thought you were gonna tell me something bad had happened or you got fired.” 

Lexa drew her knees to her chest, she was beginning to feel vulnerable and she hadn’t even started to tell her story, “Take your time, I mean I remember Costia from the first time you came into my mom’s clinic and I’ve pieced together little bits from what you’ve mentioned and from stuff I hear from your brother and sister.” 

Lexa scowled, “I figured but I still need to tell you this Clarke. I have to….I can’t keep just pushing it to the side. I need to start moving forward and I want to do that...this...with you.” 

Clarke put a hand on Lexa’s uninjured knee, “I’m not going anywhere.”

Lexa relaxed only slightly, there was no fully relaxed way for her to do this, “Alright, I met Costia our junior year of highschool….

_ It was only a few more weeks till her junior year of highschool, Lexa would have liked to say she was excited but it wasn’t because of how close summer was. No, it was because this marked the first day of the last few weeks when the Military recruiters would show up. They would look for Seniors who finally realized they didn’t have any plans after high school and for Juniors who should potential, that fit exactly what they were looking for. People who knew exactly what they wanted to do after high school that didn’t involve college or working almost two full time jobs.  _

_ Just the wait till lunch period was going to drive her insane, she wanted to meet with them now. To show off on the Marines pull up bar in the middle of the quad. Drive the girls insane and prove herself stronger than the jocks who would try.  _

_ “And….time.”  _

_ Her hand’s let go of the bar as she landed softly on her feet, the Marine holding the scoring board look her up and down, “16….that’s pretty good. Have you considered your options out of high school?”  _

_ Lexa laughed, “Yes, but it's for a different branch. I felt like showing off.”  _

_ The man laughed and she watched as another girl walked up. They were just about the same height, she had amber brown eyes light brown hair as if it was always that sun kissed. Light olive skin, “That was pretty good. I got only 12, you go to the gym on nineteenth and campus? In that shopping center right.”  _

_ “...I’m sorry do I..?” _

_ “Right, sorry, Costia. I’m in your english class and you're the in training athletic trainer for the soccer team aren’t you? I’ve seen you at our games on the sidelines.”  _

_ Lexa took her had, “No worries, Lexa, nice to meet you. Were you showing off on the bars or…” _

_ “You mean am I joining up?”  _

_ “Yeah..”  _

_ “Army, you?”  _

_ A sense of relief washed over her, this girl was kind of cute and if they got together maybe they wouldn’t have to split up.”  _

Lexa was picking up the paper plates from the floor by the couch, they had turned off the tv a while ago and Clarke was still sitting quietly taking it in, “Anyway...go forward to end of senior year. Summer just started and we had been apart of the Army Recruiting program for a few months, we had lucked out and got the same job only bad part? My ship date was in a week and hers wouldn’t be for a few more months. In which I would have been well into the next stage of training if not done by the time she entered into the service.”

Clarke finally spoke up, “I don’t want to seem rude but where is Octavia and your brother and sister at in this story?” 

Lexa chuckled, “Right, Lincoln had been gone since the year before he was in the army during my senior year of highschool. Anya had been in almost three years during my senior year and Octavia was joining the same time. Leaving around the same time as Costia, the lucky bastard had gotten the same job as the rest of us.”

“Alright, you can continue Lexa.”


	9. Nine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Authors note: Alright guys almost there....  
> nou speak about your foto feeling - Don't speak about your bad feeling.   
> ai worry gon ai hodnes, sis- I worry about my love, sister.

“Okay, let’s fast forward a bit more. I had finished Basic and Advanced training. I was stationed on the same post I did Advanced training in.After being on post as an official station almost a month, I had ran into Lincoln and Anya, they were in the same battalion and company as I.Costia did send me letters when she could and that should have helped me keep better track of her arrival. But after reconnecting with my siblings I had kind of forgotten that both Costia and Octavia were soon to be on that post as well…

_ It was lunch break on a Friday; early work day as well for Lexa, Lincoln and Anya. The trio had just walked out of the PX talking amongst themselves as a large group of AIT soldiers began to approach the PX entrance. As they grew closer I could have sworn two of the six where my two closest friends from high school. Yet Anya...Anya had never met them Lincoln, he had met at least Costia who saw him before he shipped out. “Hey Soldiers. Stop right there.”  _

_ Anya had noticed something off about that group, the other two snapped right into the same mode as Anya. If their older sister was going to be in teaching mode than the other two might as well.  _

_ The look in those kids faces were priceless, they were talking amongst themselves and then BAM silence. “Privates do you know why I stopped you?”  _

_ A confused, “No Sergeant.” Responded, _

_ Anya’s gaze grew softer, “Now I’m not going to tear into you about not marching in somewhat a formation. I would have let you get away with a lazy half assed formation not this...not this gaggle fuck. But I’m not….I just want to know why you two Privates think it's professional to yell and wave and act like the two sergeants and Specialist are your friends?”  _

_ I finally found who drew my sister's gaze, “Private Ortiz, why did you think that was a good idea?”  _

_ Ortiz…Lexa studied the young woman, it was, It was Costia. Lex prayed that Costia wouldn’t say something sarcastic back, “Because Sergeant, Specialist Woods is a friend. I wasn’t professional about it, but she is a friend.”  _

_ Lexa pinched the bridge of her nose, closing her eyes and shaking her head. Out of all the things to say Costia went with that and with that Lexa now felt the burning gaze of her sister. “Specialist?”  _

_ “This is Anya Ortiz and Octavia Blake. The two i was discussing earlier, about relatives on post.” _

_ “So you’re telling me these two…” _

_ “Yes, Sergeant Woods can confirm.”  _

Lexa laughed, “Anya was even more of a hardass on them once she knew they were the two friends I had been waiting for. When I...correction Lincoln let it slip that he thought Octavia was cute and when Anya started tearing into him about inappropriate relationships he let it slip that I had been dating Costia. Not when I met her on post no, before we shipped out. In school, even though I told her multiple times me and Costia weren’t engaging in anything while she was still in training I had to sit through the rant too.”

The two girls were laying down on the couch, Clarke’s head on Lexa’s chest. The two lazily draping arms around another and the tv at some point was turned back on but the sound was almost been completely turned down. 

“A few weeks later Octavia and Costia had graduated training and had been some of the few in their classes to get stationed on the same fort. We came out here on her break and me taking time off work and had a small visit to your mom’s clinic. As Luck have it they both land in our company. I thought…..I thought that it had to be. Our luck was so good, that all of us just had to be together,” Lexa fell quiet and Clarke could feel a Lexa cry a few times even as she tried to hide it. It was hard for Lexa to break down every wall she had put up in those years. How she tried to forget every single thing, “She wasn’t my fiance at the time we came out here. Well the first time, now we fast forward to the last few years.” 

_ Lexa and Anya sat around a small glass patio on a balcony, it was when they were living in the old family home. “Look at us old biddies, you with your damn hip and me thrown twelve feet and breaking my leg and arm.” Anya took another sip of the drink in her hands, “Anya, we both got shot. And after us watching after the young’ns they thought we needed a well deserved vacation.”  _

_ The two laughed, they had been medically released from service a few months prior, Lincoln swore to watch after Costia and Octavia while they finished out the last few months of their contracts and came home for a few weeks before the new ones began.  _

Clarke had made them take a small break, they watched the cheesy tv show playing. Just let the air clear out a bit, Lexa didn’t want to but Clarke made her, she had said she didn’t want Lexa to push herself so much, “They had called us one day around two a.m. well for them it was probably more like mid day. They were calling to say goodmorning to us before they went out on a convoy to the next FOB over to do some maintenance. We didn’t hear from them in a few weeks which was normal but it didn’t feel normal.”

_ Anya rolled her eyes as Lexa paced around the house again, “Wait so you're telling me you asked her to marry you and she said yes. And the thing you're most worried about is...not that we haven’t heard from them in a while But...yes But...you are worried about the fact you didn’t get her father's blessing. “ _

_ Lexa stopped mid stride, “Yes. I know it’s stupid but taking my mind of them and this bad feeling in the air helps. I picked something really ridiculous to obsessive over until we hear something from them.”  _

_ Anya scoffed, “nou speak about your foto feeling.” _

_ “Don’t use the old language on me, I’m going to mention it because I feel it and I know you do to. ai worry gon ai hodnes, sis.” _

_ Anya stood and placed a hand on Lexa’s shoulder, “I worry for her too. I worry for them all.” _


	10. Ten

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Authors note: This is the end for this work but the second part of the Series When I count My Blessings will be out soon. Look out for the work called, Broken coming soon. 
> 
> and yes, I know this chapter is shorter than the rest.

_ It was later in the evening, when Lexa and Anya woke up on the couches to a knock on the door. “Don’t worry about it Anya I’ll get it.”  _

_ When Lexa opened the door she was greeted by a tall man with dark black hair and solemn look upon his face. He wore very well decorated Military dress blues. Normally Lexa wouldn’t think anything of it but this man was different. He wore pristine white gloves, his hard cap tuck under his arm and in his hands she could see the large folded flag in his hands. “Are you the family of Miss Ortiz.”  _

_ “I’m her fiance, Lexa Woods, and we are the closest thing to family that lives here…..” _

_ Lexa felt a lump in her throat as his hands extended outward bringing the flag halfway into the threshold, “Ms. Woods, It is with a heavy heart that I offer my sincerest condolences. Ms. Ortiz passed away in the line of duty….her sacrifice for her country was a great one and she will not be forgotten.”  _

_ Lexa held the flag close to her heart, tears cascading freely down her cheeks. She fell to her knees and she could vaguely hear Anya standing and running to the door. Her sister asked after their brother and Octavia but Lexa didn’t care. Her light, her love, her sun and stars, her hodnes was gone...she would never see that beautiful smile or feel her warmth in the mornings as they wake up ever again…. _

Lexa had stopped speaking for a moment, tears threatening to spill from her eyes, “I’m sorry Clarke...you must think I’m ridiculous. Crying and telling you the story of an Ex I clearly am not over.” 

Clarke smiled softly and cradled Lexa, bringing her head to her chest, “I do not think you are ridiculous. I think you are brave, strong, beautiful and I hope you never truly get over Costia. She deserves the memory. But of the good times, not of this...and I hope one day it gets to that point.” 

Lexa laughed, such an inappropriate time to start laughing but she couldn't help it, “Lexa are you ok…”

“That’s just it Clarke, I think I’m going to be just fine and that’s what is hilarious. It’s been almost two years since I felt this at ease. This at home…..”

Clarke began to laugh with her, “Lexa Woods, you are the most confusing person I have ever met.”

Lexa couldn’t believe how the room seemed a little lighter, the world not as dark, hell Lexa could even have sworn that she was genuinely smiling now. This Blonde haired spit-fire soon to be doctor was the best thing to happen to her in years. 

“Clarke….this may be wildly inappropriate but there is something I have to ask you.”

“Go ahead.”

“We’ve been seeing each other for a little over a month now…..Will you be my girlfriend?” 

Clarke laughed and Lexa didn’t to ever stop listening to the sound, “I thought I already was Lexa. I mean after a month of dates, sex and me practically living here I thought it was just assumed.” 

“Oh….well then I guess I didn’t need to ask…” 

Clarke adjusted her position so she was sitting on top of Lexa, straddling her hips, “I like that you asked and the answer is yes. Yes Lexa I will be your girlfriend.” 

If Lexa died right then and there she would have died the happiest death, her life was getting back on track. Her heart, was coming home finally after all these years.Clarke placed another kiss on Lexa’s lips, “I know you just told me the story of how your Ex passed away...but is it wildly inappropriate if….”

“We have Celebratory Sex?” 

“Exactly.” 

“Clarke, I’m already going to hell so it’s not like this will make a difference.” 

As Clarke laughed into the crook of her neck Lexa placed her hands on the girl's hips. Fingers slipping under the fabric of Clarke’s borrowed tank top. The room growing hotter, the kisses and touches growing more impatient more demanding between the two. Clarke sat up leaning back just slightly, her hands going to the hem of her shirt, lifting it up and over her head. It disappeared somewhere in the living room followed quickly by Lexa’s shirt and their shorts. Lexa raised her hips to meet with Clarke’s as the girl began to grind down, Clarke gasped loudly as Lexa flipped their positions. Lexa was on top of the blonde and began kissing and marking her path downwards, a smile never leaving her face. 

Lexa kissed just slightly above the band of Clarke’s underwear, “Clarke….”

“Lexa….stop teasing….”

Lexa smiled and pushed the fabric down of her hips, past her knees, and it too joined the scattered mess of clothing around the room. Taking one last look at Clarke, Lexa could have sworn she was dating an angel.

Blonde hair splayed out wildly on the couch cushions, blush adding a nice rosy tint to her cheeks down to her breasts, those blue eyes half closed, her bottom lip caught just barely underneath her top lip teeth just barely showing. Lexa did her best to take in and commit the sight to memory, placing one last kiss upon Clarke’s lips before descending back down in between the girl’s legs. 

Lexa didn’t know much, hell she couldn’t tell you if she thought her and Clarke were going to last forever and ever. But Lexa knew one thing for sure. 

She was home. 


End file.
